Proper Perishing

Now this is a difficult subject to inject humor into! Through religion, training, society, or whatever, we all know that suicide is not the proper way to perish. Yet, so many of those who served our nation are choosing this way as of late. Like many of you, I would like to stand forth today and state that I have the solution to this problem. Trouble is: I very much do not have a solution and would be a liar to claim that I do. People solutions are difficult because each of us is both different and similar to everyone else. Those enduring the tribulation of PTSD have similarities, but not all is the same with us either. Veterans may be a smaller subset of PTSD, but we too have differences in experience and circumstance. Then, just when we might focus in on some set of factors, people without PTSD also commit suicide.

Proper perishing might involve the sacrifice of a life to save others. This situation does not arise very often though. Certainly not enough to make some web site with a list of potential life donors for harrowing rescue operations. Besides, it just makes better news when both the rescuer and the damsel in distress come back alive. For those of the politically correctness persuasion, we can also rescue the dimsal in distress. Dimsal and damsel doesn't sound quite right, or maybe it does to you. The spell checker is telling me to quit inventing new words. Some have tried, and succeeded, in the suicide-by-cop scenario.

To involve another person, particularly one who might in turn suffer PTSD from setting me free does not seem to be proper. Through shame and self-pity PTSD can be a selfish thing, but even the possibility of spreading the sickness to someone else should make us reconsider. Those who suffer a thing generally do not want to force others to endure the same thing. Misery may like company, but it is nice when the company is in a position to help and not simply there to add to the cacophony of whining. Does saying 'No, no' work?

Some religions or denominations of religions use the Thou-shalt-not method or the eternal condemnation threat in an attempt to stop suicide. It might seem to work only because it is hard to gather witnesses to give testimony that it did not in fact work for them. I don't want to report in to God that my final act in this life was to end the life He has given me. But is that the best way to prevent suicide? I think that any method must center on life to work, much like a successful marriage is not an avoidance of divorce but a celebration of all that makes marriage good.

One day, while taking my morning stroll through this little town, I decided that offering to die for Jesus was not what He wanted most from me. By utility column 399 on the corner of Thompson Park, I decided to offer not my death, I had done that more than once, but to live for Christ. For those of us suffering from PTSD, to live is the more difficult path and thus the greater offering.

Those who suffer from combat may think that it was not proper that he or she did not perish with those mates who fell in the battle that will not allow him or her to sleep at night. Others see car accidents in their imagination (guilty). Those who suffered a crime may see stalkers, rapists, or murderers around every corner. Some may not remember what caused the PTSD due to buried childhood trauma or injury to the brain. However, somewhere within all of the pain is a reason to celebrate life. I found it in my faith in Christ. Saying 'do that' is a surefire way to cause rebellion against whatever I say, so I will simply tell what works for me.

Seeking humor in a situation helps me. I want to be in control of every situation, but PTSD says, "You ain't in control of nuttin', Jack!" Friends are a reason to live. How can I be so selfish as to deprive a friend of my life and cause him greater pain than he bears already? There is much to learn in this life. I enjoy learning, but there are those times when nothing seems worth knowing. Recognize the symptom of depression and fight back by laughing at it. Perhaps the ones to solve this suicide crisis are not the psychologists and psychiatrists who have no real stake in it save to become famous and make lots of loot, but those of us who are on the front lines. There is a joy in helping others and we stand to gain most in this. We can in fact regain our very lives.

Who knows better than us what another PTSD sufferer is feeling? God has given us understanding to use in helping one another. Want to regain some control? Set up a network through whatever means you like to others in need of help. The VA is doing this, but not all of PTSD is in the VA system. Learn from each other; learn to talk and learn to listen, often we who suffer in this thing must learn both skills. Life is not unmanageable for us, but we may need more help than some in managing it. I think that accepting help is one of the most difficult obstacles we must overcome. Having a friend who understands the experience is very helpful. The solution we seek may be within us, but we may need all of us to find it and bring it out.

Well, I haven't been very funny today, but in my defense this suicide crisis we face is not a funny subject. I fear that we are losing the best of this generation from this problem, though not all of it because if you are reading this, then I can assume that you are still here with me in the land of the living. Please stay, I want to hear from you, and so do your friends and loved ones. God loves you, and so do I!
Bucky